90 thoughts I had on a date with a guy I met online

For some odd reason while I was in the shower, I thought it would be hilarious to write down the thoughts I had the last time I went out on a date. I mean like on a REAL date. You know- the whole sha-bang, meeting the guy, talking, dinner, thinking whether or not he was going to kiss me. FUN STUFF!

Now, I'm going to be totally upfront with you- I haven't been out on a real date for over a year now. This was back when I met my ex-boyfriend. I've been single for quite a while now. Yea, I can hear your thoughts.. "then why are you writing this??" I just felt like this needed to be out in the world okay?! Before you get all judgey. Everyone is online. So why not try online dating?

To begin, let me paint you a picture.
We met online. We talked/flirted for over a month and then we decided it was time to finally meet and go on a date.

Let's go!

1. Omg. I'm really glad we decided to meet at the outdoor mall. Public place is good. Yes. 
2. There's a lot of people here tonight. 
3. Usually I hate people, but they would be good eye witnesses.
4. I really hope he's not crazy or a psycho murder or rapist
5. He's running late.. 
6. He's not coming! I'm being stood up. Wow, never had that before. 
7. Oh wait, he just texted me.
8. He's here. Crap, where were we suppose to meet in front of? 
9. I'm scared. I don't even know what he really looks like! 
10. My hearts pounding. Is it because I'm nervous or walking really fast?
11. Definitely both.
12. What if he doesn't look like his profile picture?
13. What if he's really short? What if he doesn't measure up to what I made up in my head?
14. Okay, I'm here. Now what? 
15. How am I suppose to know where to look? 
16. He's calling! 
17. He's asking me what I'm wearing.. creepy? No! He needs to make sure I'm the right person. 
18. Ha. I'm being paranoid. 
19. Oh, I see him! 
20. He looks different from what I imagined. 
21. He's walking up!! What do I do? Do I look okay? 
22. Do I go for a hug? Side hug? Handshake? 
23. Oh he's going for the side hug, okay. 
24. He smells nice. 
25. He's asking me to walk with him to his car.
26. Okay, this is where I get murdered. 
27. I didn't think it would happen so fast. I mean at least buy me dinner first dude! 
28. Wait, he's taking something out. 
29. Here we go! 
30. They're flowers! Aw, so sweet. 
31. Uhh.. do I just carry these around?? I don't wanna look obnoxious. 
32. Okay, he's putting them back in the car. Cool. 
33. Oh, he ran into someone he knows.
34. Uhh.. awkward.
35. Is he going to introduce me? Please don't. I don't really know you. 
36. Crap, okay. Hello. 
37. Please go away. This is already awkward as hell. 
38. Thank you. 
39. Alright... guess the date really starts now. 
40. I'm pretty hungry, I hope he made a reservation. 
41. Where's he going..
42. Why does he keep walking around the mall..
43. I thought we were going to eat..
44. Okay, now we're sitting at a bench 
45. Are we not eating??
46. Oh, he wants to talk more. 
47. WHAT DOES HE WANT TO TALK ABOUT?
48. There's only so much small talk dude! 
49. I'm not going to reveal my entire life to you. 
50. We just met. This is weird. 
51. An hour and a half just went by. 
52. Are we seriously not eating? 
53. I'm going to say something. I'm starting to get hangry
54. Good, we're finally going to a restaurant. 
55. Okay, what do I order?
56. I don't want to seem like a pig.. but I'm pretty hungry and I can eat a lot
57. I don't want him to think I don't eat though..
58. What do I do??
59. Aint no way I'm doing a salad. Effffff that. 
60. Wait, he's ordering for me. Should I be insulted or flattered?
61. Okay.. more small talk. I can do that. 
62. Food's here.. finally!! I've been waiting for this!
63. Shit, am I suppose to act all reserve? Fuck it, I'm hungry. 
64. Food's pretty good. I should probably slow down before I choke. That would be bad. 
65. Oh, the check is coming. 
66. Uhhh.... he's getting it right?
67. I mean.. he's just letting it sit there for a while. 
68. Are we splitting it? What a cheapass. 
69. Wait, he's picking it up! 
70. Oh good. He's not an ass after all. 
71. Alright dinners, over.
72. Does this mean the date's over? Isn't that what it usually means?
73. Uh, he wants to walk some more? 
74. DUDE. I AM IN HEELS. WHY. 
75. But since it's the first date, I'll do it. 
76. Everyone's leaving the mall now. 
77. Okay.. the mall's closing. 
78. But he's still talking.... should I tell him? 
79. I don't want to be rude.. 
80. Wait, what's going on. 
81. He's leaning in!
82. He kissed me! 
83. I was totally not expecting that.. AT ALL! 
84. Damn it, I'm all flustered now.
85. Crap I hope I don't look dumb! 
86. This is awkward... what do you do after someone kisses you?! 
87. He's getting up...
88. He's walking me to my car.
89. This was nice. 
90. Interesting date. Especially for meeting him online.

Well there you have it! Hope you guys enjoyed reading it. It was definitely an interesting experience.